A Gratitude Story
By Valarie Haynes
This is my gratitude story, and it will continue to be written.
Growing up, I had excruciating bone pain that started at random times. It would typically last a day or less. As I’ve gotten older, the pain became worse and more frequent, leading me to visit every doctor I could in search of relief and answers.
In 2021, after countless doctor visits and tests, I was diagnosed with Sickle Beta+ Thalassemia. Most of the time sickle cell is diagnosed shortly after birth however, mine went undiagnosed until I was 26. I grew up believing I had traits of sickle cell and Thalassemia but had no idea that they also created a form of Sickle Cell disease when combined.
During this journey, I learned that I had damage to my bones and bone marrow due to a lack of oxygenated blood, as well as an enlarged spleen. However, it wasn’t until I discovered abnormal blood vessels in my eye that I was directed to hematology to be tested for sickle cell disease. It was scary and life-changing to realize that much of this damage had been silent. I felt let down by my own body and scared for my future. I immediately questioned whether I would be able to have a healthy pregnancy. This launched me into a journey of healing and self-education about this discovery.
In the fall of 2021, I experienced a retinal occlusion, a blood clot in my eye that temporarily caused me to lose my eyesight. Had it traveled any further, it could have resulted in a stroke, but God protected me.
Fast forward to the first trimester of my pregnancy. All my fears resurfaced—fears of being let down by my body and doubts about my ability to bring something beautiful into the world after hearing such negative things about my health over the past couple of years. I knew that the only way to find hope was to start writing down God’s promises and what I knew to be true, rather than the lies that replayed in my head. I placed index cards all over my home to help me get through each day, reminding me of God’s plan and purpose for me.
These affirmations carried me through the first trimester and laid the foundation for the challenges that awaited me in the second trimester.
In my second trimester, I went to the hospital for a persistent headache, thinking it might be related to my blood pressure. I was sent home. Later that week, I returned to the hospital with pain resembling contractions that were so severe I couldn’t sit. My husband and I advocated for a deeper investigation, as we knew something was wrong, yet I was sent home again. A week later, I went back once more. My symptoms were downplayed, and I was sent home. Looking back, it was the love between my husband and me and the supernatural strength that sustained us. I continued to work, commute to the city, and complete leadership training, all by God’s grace. After a month, my hematologist became involved, and I finally received the necessary imaging, revealing renal infarcts—small areas of my kidneys that had died off due to blood clots, cutting off healthy blood flow. It brings tears to my eyes as I write this, thinking about how not only was I protected during that time, but my baby was also covered. There was no harm to him, and he grew wonderfully, even through all of that. God is a promise keeper when you lean on Him for strength. It was truly all I could do. I began monthly exchange transfusions and other treatments to get me through the rest of my pregnancy. After the start of my second trimester, I lost count of the number of hospital visits and doctor appointments. By the end, I felt blessed to have a team of doctors committed to a safe and healthy delivery for both me and Nathaniel.
My delivery was nothing short of God’s guidance and glory. In moments of fear, I leaned on Him, repeating, ‘He’s faithful in every season, so why would He fail now?’ and ‘Christ is a firm foundation; He’s never let me down.’
As I write all this with the perspective of hindsight, I realize that in each trial and season, my faith was tested, and I fought fear and hopelessness. Then I understood that I had no choice but to lean a little harder on God’s promises. Each season prepared me for the next. The Lord has kept me throughout my life and continues to do so daily. He has proven over and over that He’s present, guiding me in every health decision and during every crisis and hospital visit. Rather than my body letting me down, it held me up; it’s stronger than I could have imagined.
I feel so full, so grateful, to share my story— and to proclaim how good God is.
